4 Ways to Stop Being Taken Advantage of at Work -The Muse

4 Ways to Stop Being Taken Advantage of at Work -The Muse4 Ways to Stop Being Taken Advantage of at WorkHave you ever found yourself in the middle of an activity at work that you really wished you hadnt agreed to? Maybe you ended up joining the company softball team, even though you hate sports and are embarrassed by your inability to throw in a straight line. Perhaps you became the organizer of all of the office birthday parties, because no one else would do it. Or, maybe you picked up the slack yet again, and ended up staying late for a colleague who begged you to help him to finish a project at the last minute.Weve all been there. And, lets be real There definitely will be times when you have to do things at work that you would rather not. However, if you find yourself in this position mora than you would like simply because you dont want to let other people down, then you could be a people pleaser.And it may not seem like a big absprache in the short term. But in the long-term, t he cons far outweigh the pros. Accommodating others too much can result in feeling overwhelmed (because youve taken on too many commitments), resentful (because of the inherent imbalances in the relationship), and stifled (because youre constantly ignoring your own needs in a quest to be liked).It can also make you feel inauthentic, because when youre smiling on the outside- despite feeling frustrated on the inside- youre essentially pretending to be someone who youre not. In fact, research suggests that smiling to appease others when youre not genuinely feeling happy, is linked to a decreased sense of well-being, and withdrawal from work. So whats a people pleaser to do? Here are four tips to deal1. Give Others More CreditSometimes when youre bending over backwards, it might come from a place of not giving others enough credit. For example, you might tell yourself, If I dont help him, how will he manage? or Nobody else is going to do it, so I have to jump in. The reality is, people are often much more resilient than we believe. If you say, no, most people can either find someone else to say, yes if theyre motivated to do so or even solve the problem themsleves. 2. Be More Compassionate (to Yourself)People pleasers tend to be very compassionate when it comes to others. They frequently anticipate others needs and do their best to try to prevent the people around them from feeling uncomfortable. However, to stop being taken advantage of, youve got to learn to treat yourself with that same level of respect. Recognize your own worth and be willing to be an advocate for yourself.A good rule of thumb is to consider, If this request was being made of someone else, what would I think? If you start to feel protective, then its a sign you might be getting close to being taken advantage of.3. tischset BoundariesFact You cant say no to every single task you dont want to do. After all, everybody has to spend some time each day doing things they would rather not. But, figur ing out whats part of the job and whats above-and-beyond takes practice. As does turning down that extra work.Experiment with saying no or at least, not now to requests. Respectfully disagree with someone in a meeting instead of just going along with them (Psst- heres how). Youll likely find that speaking up more helps you to feel more confident each time you do it.4. Learn to Deal With ConflictAt first, you may feel uncomfortable setting boundaries because its new for you. But once you step up and say something, you may find its a total non-event. In other words, when you say no, the other person simply says OK, and thats the end of it.However, there may be an instance in which advocating for yourself results in conflict. Now, it could be that the other person genuinely needs your help or expertise, and thats part of being on a team. But, it could also be that theyre simply used to you pulling the extra weight, and youll need to wade through the conflict. Instead of avoiding it, pr epare your conflict management skills in advance so you can approach these situations with a greater sense of confidence. Practice deep breathing to manage your stress in the moment, consider the issue from your co-workers point of view, and prepare I statements that convey how the situation makes you feel. Finally, run what you are planning to say past a trusted friend or colleague to get another perspective. If you anticipate a really difficult interaction, you might even want to roleplay it with someone.The final step in recovering from being a people pleaser is to start asking for things. Delegate. Let others assist you. Doing so will help you to shift your relationships from one-sided to more reciprocal. And, as you get used to receiving from others, youll realize that being a doormat simply isnt necessary for having positive relationships. Make sure to consider your own needs with the needs of those around you, and youll be able to find the right balance.